小人物的故事

以下是《The Story of a Nobody》的节录。先读为快：

Page 4
I do not know whether it was under the influence of the illness or of change that was already under way, as you unnoticed, in my outlook, but I was increasingly possessed from day to day by a passionate, nagging desire for the ordinary life of an ordinary person. I wanted peace of mind, health, good air, a full stomach. I was becoming a dreamer and, like a dreamer, did not know what it actually was that I needed.

Page 15
The irony of Orlov and his friends knew no bounds and show mercy to nothing and to nobody. The spoke of religion – irony; they spoke of philosophy, of the meaning and objectives of life – irony; if someone raised the question of common people – irony. In St Petersburg there is a special breed of men who occupy themselves specifically by poking fun at every aspect of life; they cannot pass by even a starving man or a suicide without some cruel comment. Orlov and his friends, however, did not joke and did not poke fun, but spoke with irony.

Page 27
In her opinion, leaving Mummy and Daddy or your husband for the man you love is the height of civic courage, while I think it’s just childish. Falling in love and taking up with a man and starting a new life, while I think it means nothing. Love and a man make up the essence of her life, and perhaps in this respect the philosophy of the unconscious is working in her; you just try and convince her that live is only a simple requirement, like food or clothing, that the world doesn’t come to an end at all because there are bad husbands and wives, that you can be a libertine, a seducer and at the same time a man of genius and nobility, or, on the other hand, you can refuse the pleasures of love and at the same time be a foolish, vicious animal.

到 此为止吧，我的摘录。这不是一本很厚的书，只有97页，摘录过多倒不如你自己看吧。书的封面不起眼，在伦敦Putney图书馆找书时为了找一本极薄的书就 借了这本Anton Chekhov 的《The Story of a Nobody》。他是俄罗斯短篇小说和剧本作者，同时也是一位医生。他曾说：“医学是我的妻子，文学是我的情妇。”

如果看腻最悲情、癌症末期垂死、家庭破碎、受爱情折磨的韩剧还是什么剧都好，会不会想：有没有这样夸张？所有悲惨的命运有 那么巧合地发生在一起吗？然后如果转看一些平淡如水，和生活相差不多的故事，我会有什么反应？如果是小品，一定会的。但是如果是20集淡淡的长剧，恐怕我 用录影机自拍的比较有趣吧？

当时看这本书，同时交替看《31 Songs 》。起初看了几页还不能进入状态；之后就越看越迷。这个世界上，没有多少个奇才。有多少个爱因斯坦？大部份都是一般的人，而我就是其中一个。我经常认为，由于每个人的基因不同，我一定也有与众不同的特点。无论如何，我还是特别的。可是长越大，觉得这份特殊性越薄弱。有什么特别的？就算机械性的生活里有一两件突兀的事，也是预料之内。

故事是这样的。圣．彼得堡被奢侈、放纵的官僚主义覆盖着。官僚只关心如何为自己庞大的财富增值。乔装成家庭佣人渗入一家门户，他抵抗腐败的价值观，同时他从生活中看到漫无目的的人生。他充满理想和主义，和女主人私奔，给了她一个憧憬。要结婚的女主人从主人那里得不到爱，跟乔装成佣人的理想主义者逃离。但是，他的理想总归只留在脑子，悲剧照样发生在女主人身上。

我喜欢这本书给我意料之外的情节，也是这本书精彩之处。不是本感人肺腑的书，却是哲学性很强的书。像换掉酸辣蒸鱼，上了一道苦瓜焖鸡。